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Archive for May, 2012

Or: I talk about the random crap I’ve been up to at some length. (more…)

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I know it doesn’t have quite the same ring as “the first day, etc.”, but it makes for a unique and eye-catching title, doesn’t it?  Besides that, it allows me to do a sort of retrospective of what I’ve been up to since I graduated university two weeks ago.

So yes, graduating university is a thing that happened.  I’m still not sure how it happened, given that I spent most of the past academic year trying to deal with a crippling depression that still has something of a grip on me at times.  I hadn’t exactly been at the top of my game academically, is what I’m trying to say.  And yet I somehow managed to make it to graduation and walk across the rolled-out red carpet in front of the stage to shake the university president’s hand (while simultaneously avoiding getting a hug from him).  I don’t have my diploma yet, but it’s supposed to be coming within the next three to six weeks.  I am starting to regret throwing away the fake diploma I got at the ceremony, since that had all the important information on it about diploma-getting.

And since graduation (or commencement, or whatever you want to call it) I have been at home.  I don’t have a job.  I don’t have any of what you might call “career plans” outside of “I want to make art,” which for most people doesn’t count as a career plan and is in fact a secret code for “I want to be penniless and unemployed.”  I’m trying not to freak out about the fact that I don’t have a job or career plans, and I have to say, I’m failing horribly at that.  I’m also trying not to freak out about the $40k+ that I owe various agencies for my education.  You can probably guess how that’s going.

I suppose the main thing I’m doing is trying to be productive, and that honestly hasn’t been going too swell either.  I keep spending the vast majority of my time asleep, which might be a depression thing, or a stress thing, or quite possibly a “why did you pull three all-nighters IN A ROW your last week of school” thing.  I have top men looking into the question (no I don’t) and I’ll let know about it at some point or another (no I won’t).

I want to say I’ve been doing interesting things, but at this point I’m not sure what exactly qualifies as “interesting.”  I’ve seen The Avengers three times in theaters.  I’ve watched a handful of new movies on DVD (and made a great big long list of movies on DVD that I need to sit down and watch).  I am ostensibly reading George RR Martin’s A Clash of Kings, though in truth I haven’t actually touched the book in about a month and a half (thank you, university endgame).  I also have a large list of books I want to read, speaking of reading.  I’ve been writing a little bit, although the fact that I’ve been writing fanfiction instead of “proper” fiction might put a few people off.  (Words are words, but I know how Some People feel about that kind of thing.  None of you, of course.  Just… Some People.)

I have plans.  I like to think that I have plans.  I have lists of things that I want to do.  Sometimes it feels like I keep making the same list over and over again, but maybe one of these days (she said for the fiftieth time) everything will fall into place and I’ll start getting those Things done.  I mean, the mere fact that I am writing a blog post certainly says something, doesn’t it?  That’s one thing to cross off the list.  And I have been writing every day on a wonderful thing called 750words.com, even if most of the time I end up rambling about how I’m not doing all the things I want to do, or going on and on (and on) about how depressed I am.  Another thing I keep hoping is that I’ll get back on the boat about writing fiction every day.

For the most part, my plans involve working on some long-standing projects.  I’m going to be participating in Camp NaNoWriMo next month to try and finish a couple of fanfiction projects that I’ve been stalling on (one more so than the other).  I’ve got that handy list of movies and books to watch and read.  There are some good movies coming out soon (though nothing that will stop me from seeing Avengers for a fourth time, because hot damn it was a good movie).  I’m also going on vacation with my family at the start of July, so that should be nice.

Maybe if I do enough random crap to fill my days, I can forget about the whole “getting a job, finding a career” thing.  Maybe.

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