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It’s funny how I keep saying I’m going to write here more, and then I keep finding excuses in my life to not write more blog posts.  It’s almost funny, except for the part where it kind of makes me look like a flake.  Which is unfortunate.  So I guess here’s an update on what I’ve been doing recently.

That 100 movies thing I came up with on a whim last time is still ongoing, surprisingly.  I know it’s only been like ten days, but this is, regardless, a big deal for me.  As I mentioned, I can kind of be a flake sometimes.  I have a bad habit of setting lofty goals and being terrible about keeping them.  The fact that I’m still going after just a week is amazing.  There hasn’t been a lot of rhyme or reason to my film selections so far, but that’s fine.  Like I said, I’m just excited that I haven’t given up yet.

Another thing I do in my spare time during the spring and summer is garden.  I’m not actually very good at it, but I grow flowers and other things. This year I’ve got a couple vegetables going on the patio–a bell pepper and a cherry tomato.  Both are doing pretty well; just this past weekend I got four tomatoes off that plant.  I had a couple of them in a salad today and they were quite tasty.  I also have a strawberry plant that I planted last year that’s doing very well; hopefully I’ll be able to get some fruit off it before the local bunnies do.  On the flower side of things, I’ve planted some cosmos from seed that are also doing well.  They haven’t budded yet, but I’m hoping they will soon.

I haven’t been up to much else worth expounding on.  I’m knitting again, on this Star Wars scarf pattern.  The end result is going to be a gift for my brother.  I’ve started watching Parks and Recreation on Netflix; it’s been highly enjoyable so far, though I’m not that far in.  The writing thing hasn’t been going so well, unfortunately.  I haven’t been making time to write at home, which of course may also be because I don’t have much time in the day, period.  I’m trying to work on getting up earlier, but it’s mostly not going so well.  Getting up a little after 11am today was an accomplishment, let’s put it that way.

I don’t want to turn into a broken and untrustworthy record, but I am going to try and make a genuine effort to post more.  If I’m going to hit 100 posts by year’s end, I am going to have to improve my output.  So here’s to hoping, I suppose.

(5/100)

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I bet you thought I forgot about the blog again. While I admit it hasn’t been at the forefront of my mind, I promise I haven’t totally forgotten about it. I do want to get back in the habit of updating again, which means the pressure is on me to stick to it. This is what this is.

So what have I been up to? Partly it’s been a slightly soul-crushing apathy, either due to my depression or the medications I’m taking for my depression (oh joy). It’s hard to write when you don’t care about anything enough to get started. It’s hard to really do anything, because it doesn’t feel like any of it matters. Which leads into my next thing, which is that I haven’t done anything really important or interesting the last couple of weeks. I’ve been walking at the mall in an attempt to inject some physical activity into my otherwise sedentary life. I’m trying to write a silly fanfic to prove to myself that I’m still capable of actually producing fiction. Sometimes I go to the movies or watch one at home. I haven’t even been reading as much.

I’m not sure what my point here was supposed to be. Maybe explaining that my life is so boring as an excuse for not updating? Which is a pretty flimsy excuse, since I updated regularly in most of 2013 when my life was just as boring and depressing. (Even more depressing, since I was on crappier meds back then.) My biggest problem is that I make excuses. I didn’t get out of bed until nearly 1pm today because I kept finding excuses to ignore my alarm and curl up under the covers again. I don’t do a lot of things because I decide to refresh Tumblr or tab open TV Tropes instead.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that I am the queen of doing the easy, lazy thing instead.

I didn’t mean to turn this into an interrogation of my bad habits. This is what happens when I don’t have a set topic; I dive right into being self-critical.

I made a list of things I want to do this summer. Movies to see, TV shows to catch up on, plus some other stuff. It’s only sort of happening at the moment. I’m trying to catch up on Hannibal, since it’s just started its third season. It’s taking a while, since Hannibal is not the lightest of shows and thus not easy to binge watch. (This is more or less the reason why I haven’t finished Daredevil, either.) I’m five episodes away from being caught up, so hopefully I can cross that off my list here shortly. And that’s just one part of the list. And for some reason I’ve just now got this mad idea to watch 100 different movies over 100 days. Just because. And who knows, I might just do it, even though another one of my bad habits is setting goals I can’t possibly hope to keep.

This is what this is. I do things. Mostly they’re boring and unimportant. But I suppose you’re here because you’re interested anyway. I’m going to try to be better about updating here in the future. Expect more rambling posts like this one.

Also hopefully I’ll get my act together about Doctor Who reviews. Maybe.

(4/100)

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I just spent a couple hours reading through old blog posts (mostly Doctor Who reviews, but even so). It got me thinking about how I was supposed to start posting more on this blog this year, that everything was going to change and I was going to take control or something like that. Basically, that I was going to be a blogger again.

I think I want that to happen now.

I set my goal for 100 entries this year. I think that’s quite doable, especially if I get started on the Doctor Who reviews again. And who knows, maybe reviews of other things as well. I like to talk about media, that much is clear. Hannibal’s coming back for its third season this year, maybe I’ll write about that. (Never mind I need to catch up on the second season still.) Who knows. The possibilities are endless, of course.

I might be using this as a platform to talk about my personal life a bit more, particularly my depression. I might even talk about writing. I’ve been trying to do more of it lately, and it’s working out so-so so far. But I might as well talk about things since I’ve got this platform, even if they’re inane things that no one actually cares about!

It’s my blog and I’ll write what I want to, write what I want tooooo…

On the whole I don’t know what I’ll be doing with this. I only know that I want to do something, and I will try to make that something count. Even if no one gives a damn. Maybe especially if no one gives a damn. Because at least I care, and at least I’m trying. I suppose that’s really what this is all about—caring enough to try, and keep on going.

So expect to see more from me in the coming days and weeks. And hopefully this time, I won’t be unknowingly lying to you. Hopefully.

(2/100)

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I know, I know, you’re as surprised as me that I’m back and writing about Doctor Who. I sort of left things off in quite a place, didn’t I? Right in the middle of Series 5, without so much as a word of warning that I’d be away for well over a year. I suppose I’m a bit like the Doctor in that regard, aren’t I? Going away for, oh a week, and then not turning up until fourteenish months later. All of that aside, I am back, and hopefully for good.

The plan for the foreseeable future, at least as regards this particular output of mine, is to review one episode a week, picking up where we left off, with Time of Angels, and so on. It should last me through the year, so long as I keep on top of it. And I am hoping that I will be able to keep on top of it. There are just enough episodes left that I should be able to cover them in fifty two weeks.

If you’re looking for a recap of where we left off, here’s the general gist of things: The Eleventh Hour is a piece of total perfection that cannot be fully appreciated by mere human words; The Beast Below is by no means perfect, but still plenty good (even Steven Moffat’s worst episode is better by far than most writers’ best); and Victory of the Daleks serves a necessary purpose for the future of Doctor Who, and yet manages some good character stuff beneath the rather rote storyline. We’re all in agreement about that, yes? … Probably not, but that’s where we are right now, and so hopefully by the end of this week, you’ll be looking at a nice shiny review of Time of Angels.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

(1/100)

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This is a Post on My Blog

To be honest, one thing you should have learned from me over the last year is that when I say I’m going to start writing entries more often, I am probably lying. Though all things considered, this is somehow going to turn out to not be one of those times. Wait and see, I suppose.

This entry isn’t about anything particular, just a sort of journal entry or stream of consciousness something or other. It snowed a lot today, with some sleet and freezing rain thrown in for good measure. The world outside is white and lovely, though I feel the effect is kind of spoiled by leaves and grass poking through the unsullied surface. I don’t think it’s likely to last outside of the weekend, either, but I’ll enjoy it as long as I can. (And hey, the messy roads are a good excuse to just stay in the house for a few days and not feel guilty about it.)

I am still going to write entries about the things I said in my previous entry, whenever that was. I might even write some of them today. Or tomorrow, rather. Time is sometimes a strange construct, and it’s been somewhat skewed for me all week. I didn’t get any sleep one night. I don’t know how much I’m going to get tonight. I really need to start keeping a sleep journal or something. I’ve tried that a couple of times, actually, and I’ve always fallen out of the habit. (I have often thought the same thing about keeping a dream journal, though my problem is that I usually get up and going straight away, and thus forget what I was dreaming about in the first place. Though I’ve noticed that the Disneyland of my dreams is always the same, though it’s also a lot more elaborate and cool.)

I need to start packing. I keep packing up all the things I don’t need, like bits of knick-knackery and so forth that won’t be helpful to unpack at first at all, but are still what I can afford to pack at the moment. Though at my current reading rate, I might as well start packing up my books, because they’re certainly not doing anything at the moment. But then again, there is the issue of having enough boxes for it all, and that makes me stay my hand again.

Tomorrow (or today, even) I am going to watch some Doctor Who and actually write some reviews and get those posted. I am going to finish up with Matt Smith’s run by the year’s end, I swear. That is a thing that is going to happen, somehow. Hell or high water and all that stuff. Come Christmas or New Year’s, I am going to get this stuff done.

Somehow.

(199/260)

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Apologies (again) for abandoning you all (yet again) for… well over a month. Things have been happening in my life, though by and large they are unexciting things like depression and anxiety. And let’s be honest, I’ve already talked about those enough on here, so there isn’t much point in regaling you with the gory details again. Particularly since that’s about as depressing as my actual experience was, and I don’t feel inclined to relive it for you all.

Rather than spending a lot of time talking about what I’ve been doing and not doing, I think I am going to split things up into multiple entries. Just sort of, you know, spread the love. And also pad out my total number of entries for the year, since I need about three a day in order to hit my intended number of two hundred and sixty. Or 260; sorry, doing intensive last-minute NaNoWriMo makes the word padder in you really come out.

So, some of the exciting topics you will see from me in the coming days and weeks include:

  • My parents bought a house. (Or will have, in a week and a half.) This means packing, and going through all the crap I have accumulated after living in this house for seventeen years.
  • I just saw Frozen tonight and OH MAN GUYS I GOTTA TALK ABOUT THIS MOVIE AT YOU.
  • I got Pokemon X and my own 3DS for my birthday, so guess what I’ve been doing in half my spare moments. (I am trying to complete the region ‘dex for the first time ever, and I am actually pretty sure I’m going to do it. Once I work out some particular kinks regarding legendary birds, anyway…)
  • As I mentioned above, I did NaNoWriMo again this year, which I believe I talked about a little in October. It was kind of hard to write while in the middle of a crushing depression, but I managed to finish it just under the wire. By writing 14,000 words in twenty-four hours.
  • Also the long-awaited return of Doctor Who Review! I am going to get through everything up to and including this year’s Christmas special and last month’s 50th Anniversary Special (which I LOVED, by the way).
  • And probably more and other stuff that I will think of later!

(198/260)

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I am still tired. I want to curl up in my nice warm bed and sleep for another century or so, for all that that would kind of screw up my evening. I don’t feel as though I have anything better to be doing at the moment, though, so maybe a nap would do me some good. It would probably be better to just cuddle up in bed and read for a while instead, since I didn’t get around to that yesterday. I could probably do some planning from bed, as well.

Let’s be honest, I’m mostly talking about getting into bed because in spite of the heat being on and my space heater running at top speed and temperature, I am still cold and I would like to live, just briefly, in a universe where my feet are not totally freezing. That universe usually involves curling up under the covers of my bed. If I had some nice flannel sheets, I might put those on my bed for optimum warmth, but I don’t have any nice flannel sheets, so I suppose I’ll just have to deal with it.

I would probably be not-bored and playing Pokemon at the moment if I could borrow my brother’s 3DS, but he’s going to let me have it when he leaves for school this week, so it seems polite to just let him do whatever with it until he leaves. I have all week, I keep telling myself, to waste time and raise my team and defeat gym leaders and so on. Instead of doing important stuff like updating this blog or maybe actually planning out my novel for NaNoWriMo.

Speaking of things I haven’t actually started doing. Ugh. I am kind of secretly hoping that my most recent lapse in creativity will end when I’ve got that huge deadline and goal hanging over me come November, but knowing my luck I’ll get about a thousand words in before I give up because it’s all awkward and weird and I can’t work on it without getting that queer tickling feeling in my arms that makes me want to claw them open and pull out whatever’s causing it.

That doesn’t make any sense.

I don’t know what this entry is supposed to be about. All I did was start writing, and as ever, one thing followed another until I started talking about the strange things that only make sense to me and which you probably won’t understand at all, if you’re even here reading this, which, let’s face it, if you gave up in paragraph two I don’t blame you. I’ve made it clear repeatedly over the last ten months how utterly fucking boring I am.

My birthday’s in ten days. I think I want to make pumpkin cupcakes for Halloween. I wish I had some money so I could put gas in my car and make sure my bank account doesn’t overdraw when their stupid-ass fee comes out and so I could maybe buy Robin McKinley’s new book and also start buying Christmas presents, not that I’m totally sure what everyone wants in the first place, and it’s so hard to shop for like five or six other grown adults. I wish I had a job. I wish I could just sleep forever sometimes. Not right now, though the thought of being cozy and warm for forever is kind of appealing because my feet are still cold and my space heater has a weird idea of how warm this room actually is at the moment.

I wanted to write 500 words, and it looks like I did just that. If you made it this far, you should get a medal. This entry is kind of inane as hell, and for that I apologize.

(197/260)

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